I Hate November

To those close to me who've been watching my Tweets & Facebook posts within the last 48 hours, you've probably been wondering what's been going on that's got me so freaked out and on edge lately. You'd probably be right in assuming that my PTSD has been fucking with me extra hard and really taking a toll on me, however I want to take a moment to assure you all that despite being extremely overwhelmed I am not suicidal. We all know how common suicidal ideation is among Soldiers and Veterans, so any of you who were worried about THAT being the case, your concerns are valid however (at this time) inaccurate. 

Monday 2-NOV-2015 was a shit day for more reasons than I care to recall, most of which I had little to no control over and could not have prevented. So with this post, for those who care (and for which I am VERY grateful for) I'm going to attempt to explain what has me in such a mental and emotional bind & why I'm going to call a doctor at my local VA at some point later today.

That morning, I had a real bastard of a bad dream about Iraq: Not a specific thing happening, per se, but a cluster-fuck of all of the feels I was feeling downrange (abandonment, disgust, horror, despair, etc...) all at once & in one place.

I'm no stranger to deployment dreams, I'm strongly under the impression that many fellow Veterans often experience this as well. It's not necessarily just "being back there" that troubles me, most of the time. I deployed with a less-than-savory lot who rarely hesitated to remind me that my life and wellbeing did not matter to them in the slightest, as I've already detailed more times than I care to recall in this very blog. I do have GOOD memories of being deployed, it's just that extremely few of them include my squadmates from 40th ESB. Most of them are interactions with Soldiers from other units and branches, even a few Iraqis that I met, on the rare occasion that I was able to do so.

So after waking up at around 0330 or so feeling flash-flooded with the immediate aftermath of experiences that I'd sooner saw off a tit than re-live ever again, I first tried desperately to calm down and fall back asleep: Obviously, I had just had a nightmare and could probably benefit from hitting an inner reset button, take a few deep breaths and think happy thoughts... only I couldn't fall back asleep. This happens from time to time, insomnia fucking blows but there's not much I can do about it, plus I also have an early morning class on Mondays so I may as well get up and make myself some coffee.

I proceed to drag my ass for the next two hours because despite a feeling of urgency and alertness, my limbs refused to cooperate with what my brain was ordering them to do: Get off the couch, get the damn coffee and get your ass to class!

I live very close to Fayetteville's bike trails, I can see the Scul Creek crossing from my apartment window. I cross this crosswalk every morning to walk to my bus-stop, that day some frat-boy jack-hole on his cell-phone decided to run the crosswalk with me still in it: He came within two feet of either maiming or straight-up killing me. I'm rather confident that if I had an object in my hand, I'd probably have thrown it at his head: I really don't like violence, but FUCKING HELL DUDE, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME! And I know the prick saw me, because I saw him turn toward me and then duck his head slightly, then he just kept on rolling like nothing happened at all. 

Hey dick-face, if I ever see you do that again I'll shove that phone so far up your lilly-white ass you'll be able to taste your next text-message.

Class wasn't anything really all that special, even though this is normally the class that I enjoy the most. I've also had more writing/essay assignments this semester than I had all of last year, which leaves me with almost no free time at all (hence, a huge reason why I haven't been posting all that much.) I came home eager to talk, obviously there is something going on and it's fucking with me pretty damn hard: It's not even lunchtime yet, and the knock-out-punch was still yet to come.

I'm very lucky in that I have an awesome husband whom I can talk to about almost anything and he'll usually understand, we have our disagreements from time to time but communication is something we've always taken very seriously and this has been a huge boon for us both. He knew I'd had a bad dream because he woke up around the same time I did, that aparrently I'd been shifting and whining in my sleep which is usually a clear indicator that something's wrong. Again, this happens from time to time, but usually I can navigate my way through the field of feels and get through my day unscathed.

So after some coffee and an otherwise pleasant heart-to-heart with someone I care about and love, this oughtta be enough to get me back on the right track... right? 

Sometime around noonish, a reminder notification popped up on my computer and my heart sank: I'm no stranger to forgetting birthdays, it's happened before even to friends and family because if it weren't for things like Facebook I'd never remember ANYONE'S birthday.

Monday was someone's birthday, alright: Someone I think about every single day, especially staring down feelings of guilt and regret almost every single morning in my own reflection. 

Someone I loved with every fiber of my being.

Someone who needed me when times got tough.

Someone I abandoned out of selfishness & fear.

Someone who's life was utterly destroyed partly because I'm a coward.

Yeah, there are a lot of times when he pops into my mind out of the blue and then I outright fucking hate myself for not having the balls to be a decent human being.

ALL of the feels, ALL of the 'I-told-you-so's' and 'wish-it-weren't-so's' as well as all of the lingering guilt and regret for things I could-have and should-have done, but didn't. EVERYTHING came crashing down on me all at once, from being publicly humiliated by my unit for loving someone they didn't approve of while refusing to cave to THEIR advances, to the last memory I have of holding him in my arms, to really wishing I'd had a rock in my hand at the crosswalk early in the morning, then flashing back to vomitting up the jar of stolen pills and the cold steel of the muzzle of my M-16 in my mouth a month or so before coming home from Iraq.

All of THAT came crashing down into my mind like a Predator Drone Strike at THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME.

Self loathing is exhausting.

NOW, let's Tarantino this chuckle-fuck back in time to about one week ago...

Since I ETSed out of the Army in 2013, only two medications have really helped me balance out & negotiate the trials of life with Service-Connected PTSD: Marijuana and Lamotrigine. I live right down the street from my local VA hospital and this is a College town, normally access to medicine isn't an issue for me and I'm extremely lucky in that regard. However, the order-from-home-prescription-refil service that my VA facility offers takes about a week. And while I like to partake in the occasional "herbal remedy" like any other red-blooded American, if I do it too often it has it's own realm of unpleasant side-effects, and so I moderate my (rare) use very carefully.

Due to a miscalculation on my part, I was unmedicated for an entire week.

It's easy to talk shit about "big-pharma" until your ability to fucking LIVE is compromised. Anti-vaxxers and anti-modern-medicine shills are the scum of the Earth and are thoroughly deserving of public scorn and ridicule. Yes, I rely on two tiny pills every morning to manage my ability to think straight without becoming overwhelmed to the point of collapse, but you know what? It sure as shit beats joining the Daily 22 just to prove a point.

I have my pills now, they finally arrived on schedule, and as soon as I hit the "publish" button, I'm calling my doctor for an appointment.

My negligence has already shattered ONE life that didn't deserve it, I'm not going to do it to MYSELF.

Super-Crunchy Non-GMO Granola

I'm writing this blog post in particular because I had a conversation very recently, the outcome of which is still upsetting me. Many people here in the South often stereotype "Liberals" as being whiny little piss-babies with empty heads and full wallets. I promise you this, I would not have considered moving South of the Mason Dixon line if I could afford, or stand, to continue living in my home (mostly Blue) State of Maine: Be advised, many Mainers are losing what little patience they already had with that fuck-stick of a Governor they call LePage (dude looks like my alcoholic auntie without her wig on, and whose decision-making capabilities and capacity for sound judgement are comparable) 

When it comes to talking about Soldiers and Veterans, especially in terms of politics, I tend to see a great deal of what I like to refer to as "Flag-Fapping." That is, publicly and unabashedly waxing 'patriotic' for the sole purpose of drawing attention to ones' self. The practice of Flag-Fapping can be readily observed manifesting in a variety of forms, such having one's photo taken holding a Bible in one hand and some manner of fire-arm in the other. Instances of Flag-Fapping often include, but are not limmited to, unnecessary bald-eagle paraphernalia, a perceived over-abundance of bacon, seemingly excessive "thanking" of the troops, posting Ayn Rand quotes out of context (intentionally) or most puzzling of all, expressing outrage over (real or perceived) desecration of the American flag while citing the Flag Code, also simultaneously wearing a t-shirt with the American flag printed upon it (which is ALSO a violation of that same Flag code, see also the landmark SCOTUS ruling Texas v. Johnson)

Flag-Fapping: You want everyone to know you're so goddamn patriotic that you can jerk it to the Star Spangled Banner, cum fireworks, whose sparks then turn into eagles that fart red-white-and-blue streaks across the sky as they fly in formation over untold hordes of marching troops, as legions of adoring civilians shower their heroes with bacon and $100 bills.

'Murica! FUCK YEAH!

Most of the time, when people thank me for my service, it's genuine; and I can tell the difference between a kind gesture versus Flag-Fapping. But when my military service gets dragged into online arguments about really bizarre things like wether or not someone thinks Caitlyn Jenner is "brave," then has the audacity to weild ME like a fucking shield, I wanna throw up in my mouth a little. Caitlyn Jenner just wants to be who she wants to be, and stood on a stage in a theater full of strangers openly declaring as such: That's a bigger deal than many people realize, and I'm not even talking about stage-fright. What pisses me off is that blind hero-worship is SO PREVALENT in our culture that the very idea of a soldier or veteran disagreeing with the person doing the Flag-Fapping/sheild-weilding, that soldiers and vets (like myself) that DON'T fit this constructed narrative are often dismissed, shunned, or called traitors.

It's more than just annoying, it's downright fucking rude: I am a PERSON, not your PROP. Please stop using my military service to justify things like racism, homophobia, transphobia, in fact, just stop doing that altogether. If YOU'RE a veteran, use YOUR OWN damn service as a platform for your opinions (whatever they might be.) Stop waving the suffering of other human beings around like a goddamn flag because you're too closed-minded to grasp otherwise simple concepts like equality and justice!

(sigh) ... And NOW, the reason I'm making this post.

The other extreme, the ultra-uber thrice-tie-dyed far-Left, is relatively rare (in my experience.) As previously mentioned, I grew up in Maine, which is probably (at the time) one of the most "liberal" States you've ever heard of. I lived in Portland for about 5 years, watched the Old Port transform from a cluster-fuck of grungy dive-bars to another cluster-fuck of trinket shops tailor made to drain gullible tourists of their money. Hippies, hipsters, homeless people, you name it we had it: It was also a super-expensive place to live, eventually I had no choice but to move South.

Being a godless lefty myself, there are times I think I've heard damn near everything. A few days ago, I found out that I was quite wrong: Over the course of my entire life, only 5 TIMES has anyone ever inferred that I'm a murderous peice of shit war-criminal directly responsible for the deaths of innocent Iraqis. Three of those five times it was through Tumblr (which should surprise exactly NO ONE) and another one time through Twitter. A few days ago, it was said straight to my face.

For the interest of not directly incriminating specific people and preserving my "career," I'm actually going to refrain from saying where I was, what I was doing, or even what started the conversation. I CAN tell you, that during the course of the "conversation" I found myself frequently cut-off, interrupted and talked-across, and that was even BEFORE I mentioned the fact that I'm an Iraq Vet. Not too long after which, I heard a sequence of generalized statements regarding the "Military Industrial Complex" (which doesn't mean what most people seem to think it does) along with corporate greed (which is true, no argument from me THERE) and that, basically, if people wouldn't enlist at all, there'd be no 'war machine' to keep rolling.

Whoah there! I was just a comms-technician, but a lowly pog, and by my own free admission not even a very good one at THAT! What's all this about WANTING to kill other human beings? That's a pretty bold statement about my character coming from someone who just met me less than an hour ago, in fact I can honestly (fortunately) say that while I was in Iraq I never once was put in a position where I had to shoot at or kill ANYBODY. My job was asking brass-grabbing Officers if they've tried plugging something in or turning it off-and-on again, not lining people up for some kind of slaughter. Basically, my job never involved killing anyone.

Her response: "Yeah, I'm sure the Germans making tick-marks on their lists as people were marched into the ovens said the same thing."

...

I can be, as I often think that I have always been, an asshole. But what I AM NOT is a needlessly violent person, and I say "needlessly" in particular because I'm not the kind of person to intentionally start a fight with anyone. If someone throws the first punch and I can't get away, then of course, hitting them back is understandable. I think most rational people would agree that resorting to violence in a moment of anger doesn't accomplish anything.

I didn't even feel like flipping my desk, I just wanted to cry.

Seriously? Did you just compare me to a goddamn GESTAPO and then try to play off the whole conversation like you're somehow a victim of a system you obviously KNOW NOTHING ABOUT? Do you honestly mean to tell ME that you're incapable of discerning the fundamental difference between fixing a phone and FUCKING GENOCIDE?!?!? 

Holy shit, I met one... a real one, alive and in the flesh: I actually met what Flag-Fapping strangers on the internet think that I AM (which I am SO FUCKING NOT) ... an ignorant sack of crap. I know, I know, I m breaking the 'cardinal rule' of atheism and debating, "Thou shalt not resort to Ad Hominem, for it is a logical fallacy and just not a nice thing to do anyway" but I do have my fucking limits. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't handle accusatory statements very well: When a previous employer accused me of something I didn't do, all it took was the mere hint that I was considering legal action and they shut right up, and to think that it all could have been easily avoided if they had just checked the damn cameras like I told them to.

As previously mentioned, this is extraordinarily rare. Even among fellow liberals, damn near none of them genuinely harbor this kind of "fuck the troops" mentality that the right-wingers often stereotype us for. As for the three instances I encountered on Tumblr, it's Tumblr. Even Tumblr is occasionally shocked and disgusted by Tumblr, so I can't say I was at all surprised. Hurt and pissed off, but not surprised. But coming out of the mouth of an actual human being, it cut deep.

And I didn't even get a proper chance to explain the error of her statement or otherwise defend myself.

Something I can do in abundance (and without restraint) HERE...

America's occupation of Iraq was illegal and never should have happened, already there seems to be some measure of agreement among historians, legal experts and some military leaders on THAT. Even I won't dispute it, I really won't. But here's the big glaring obvious difference between MY military service and what the Nazis did to the rest of Europe: Genocide and destruction was the single primary goal and purpose of the Nazi regimes, and while Bush used shoddy information to justify the violent invasion of Iraq in 2003, our military objectives and missions were absolutely NOTHING OF THE SORT. 

On that note, Abu Ghraib never should have happened, but here's the difference: The people involved are monsters who broke the law for their own sick satisfaction, and those responsible were rightly tried for their crimes and sentenced to prison. Well, except the Officers in command, of course, which doesn't surprise me at all. Officers can get away with damn near anything, including ACTUAL war-crimes, it seems. The difference between Abu Ghraib and Dachau is that while it never should have happened at all, when we DID find out about it, we held those responsible accountable.

The difference between kicking down doors looking for suspected insurgents versus kicking down doors and rounding up whole families into trains should be painfully obvious, but aparrently not. Do you honestly mean to tell me that giving food and shelter to Iraqi families whose lives were destroyed by Saddam's Fedayeen & Ba'ath Party is in any way comparable to shoving people into gas ovens? 

And on the subject of Iraqis killing EACHOTHER, I hate to rain on your pity-parade, but that was actually a thing. And unless you've been living under a rock, it still is very much a thing. If you want to rant about millions of dead Iraqis, fine, but I'm going to write up a little equation for you to try and work out and see if your "answer" still holds up.

Consider the following: A "sovereign" nation with a dreadful track-record of killing it's own people off en-mass for no significant reason other than their 'dear leader' felt like it. This nation had no established polling or census means in it's entire history, meaning that unless you were a registered member of the Ba'ath Party, your life didn't matter. That means that Kurds, Yezidis, Armenians and other non-Arabs living in the country (even other muslims, especially Shia) were perceived as having no value and not fully human. Anyone the Ba'ath or the Fedayeen felt like fucking with had no recourse, to include extermination and enslavement. Now... in comes an invading force hastily thrown together at the collective whim of their own "leaders" without proper training or equipment, not knowing anything about the local culture or even the language, nevermind the atrocities they've been effectively commiting against THEMSELVES that were already going on since the 1970's. Someone shoots first, the other side shoots back, people die. The regime falls, but the Fedayeen manage to keep their shit together and enlist outside help in maintaining thier presence among the people. Without a government to serve, the Fedayeen no longer need uniforms or flags, just persistence and unabashed cruelty. They continue torturing and executing anyone who gets in their way, including anyone sympathetic to the invaders or even accused as such, just as they always have before the invaders arrived. A group of invaders fucks up royally (E.G., Abu Ghraib) and the Fedayeen manage to turn the situation to their advantage, justifying even more killing because hey, "we're not as bad as THOSE guys." After a long and bloody war of attrition (basically, who can be the sicker bastards) the occupying force eventually gathers what they can and leaves, while what's left of the Fedayeen forces give themselves a new name and dines on the corpse of an already broken country.

After all of this, if the answer you come up with is still "f(x) = Hitler" then you clearly haven't been paying attention to what's been happening int he Middle East, or in the U.S., for the last 30 years. And that wall-of-text took me the better part of an hour to carefully word-smith to leave room for error: Few military historians seem willing to touch this particular topic, so I've taken to reading & researching it on my own for the last 3 years.

No, we can't account for the millions of Iraqis that were killed during the occupation because we have no reliable way of knowing how many of them were dead before we got there.

Trust me, you don't need to lecture ME about how fucking horrible war is. But what you AREN'T going to do is put me in a box, demonize me for things I had no control over, and then tell me that this is somehow MY FAULT because poverty drove me to a particular line of work that you happen to not like. Do you have any goddamn clue how many people enlisted after the housing bubble burst in 2008? Do you have any idea how many people enlist just to get as far away from the inner city/trailer park/reservation as they possibly can? If you had no other prospects what-so-fucking-ever for basic needs like food, shelter, healthcare or even education, ESPECIALLY if you have kids, tell me with a straight face that the thought wouldn't cross your mind. Tricare health benefits FOR KIDS: I've lost count of how many people I've met who enlisted for THAT REASON ALONE! But no, we're all mindless blood-crazed Nazis because you don't understand what our military ACTUALLY IS?

Do you really think it's just as easy as telling them to lay their weapons down and refuse to fight, because YOU say so, when often the penalties for doing so include a felony conviction and imprisonment without parole, or never seeing their families again? Do you not understand that you can't force your ideals, for good or ill, onto other people just because you personally don't approve of their choices? On that note, do you even have a working concept of what freedom of choice means and why others aren't obligated to agree with or even respect your opinions, or mine for that matter? How can you say to me, with a straight face, that you're a Buddhist and all about compassion for other sentient beings while simultaniously telling me that my own suffering was deserved because I, like millions of other Veterans before me, just wanted a paycheck and some hot meals? SERIOUSLY?!?!

If you REALLY cared about stopping bullshit wars, then be ever mindful who you vote for and who you buy things from: THEY make the decisions, NOT ME. And ACTUALLY fucking vote, I hope at least you're not THAT much of a coward.

We live in a country that was founded on, built upon, and continues to thrive by way of, prowess in warfare. If you were really so genuine in your self-proclaimed commitment to peace, then you'd give your house and land BACK to the Native Americans your ancestors stole it from without bickering about the massive financial loss you'd suffer. If your commitment to stopping war in the Middle East was as sincere as you claim, you'd never use anything with an internal combustion engine (to include public transportation) OR anything made of plastic, EVER AGAIN.

But you're not going to do any of that, are you? Of course not, that would be inconvenient. Of course it would be, just like the aura-shattering reality that HUMAN BEINGS OCCASIONALLY KILL ONE ANOTHER, and on occasion THEY ARE justified in doing so!  That doesn't make the situation any less shitty, but it's the world we live in wether or not we like the idea. Are soldiers and Veterans somehow not deserving of the exact same 'compassion' you claim to emulate?

Because if you think what you're peddling is 'compassion,' calling me and others like me "Nazis" or "war-criminals" isn't compassion: It's arrogance, ignorance, and fucking disgusting hypocrisy.

You're doing just as much damage as the Flag-Fapping theocratic Republicans, and you can't even be completely honest about it.

Ever hear of Tumblr?

I Want to Go For a Walk!

I know, I know: Where the bloody-grunge-fuck have I been? Do you want the simple answer or the needlessly complicated one? Short & sweet answer, ever since the start of the Fall 2014 semester at the University of Arkansas started, I've been balls-deep in academia with almost no free time of my own. The really complcated answer involves school, sure enough, as well as relationship issues, a slight 'complication' that arose as a direct result of running out of medication, a road trip to lovely Boulder CO, spending way more money than any human being should ever have to on text-books that I'm only ever going to use ONCE, and a whole bunch of other shit. 

I'm fine, John & I are both fine, school is going fine: For the most part, everything is under control. 

A handful of former squad-mates have been in contact with me with their own alarming news about what's been going on in their lives, both as current and former members of my previous Unit (I deployed as a member of the 40th Expeditionary Signal Battalion to Iraq in 2010, they were a collective clusterfuck of religious fundamentalism and general top-heavy incompetence: From what I've learned recently, not much has changed since I ETSed in 2013.) For their sake, I'm not going to go into what exactly has been going on for them because there's a chance, albeit a small one, that it may put them in immediate danger. That, and I don't think they'd take too kindly to having their personal/professional affairs being thrown all over the internet like chum over shark infested waters.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I have a unique opportunity coming up soon: A plan is in the works for me to give a small presentation about religious extremism within the American military, as well as issues faced by non-believing soldiers, at the University of Arkansas on March 8th. I was asked by the secular student RSO, Occam's Razors, and I'll be the first to admit that while I'm super-excited to be giving such a presentation, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. 

I've never had my own public event like this before, EVER.

Most events like this presented by Occam's Razors are free and open to the public, until I hear otherwise from them I'm going to safely assume that this one will probably be the same. I'm chomping at the bit, but I'm also just a little bit fucking terrified. That's not a whole lot of time to throw a Power-Point presentation together, and I need to gather information from the most accurate sources I can find (I have a few in mind.) 

I'll TRY to stay on top of things & keep you good folks up to speed. The last couple of months have just been tiring and stressful. My vacation in Boulder was fantastic and very well needed, and maybe as I find time I'll write a post about THAT, but for now I'm going to focus on my school-work and coming up with material for this presentation. 

Be good to each-other, dammit.

So THIS Happened...

Upon becoming a student at the University of Arkansas, I was issued an e-mail address intended for academic use. I have every right to disperse this particular address to anyone that I'd like to, as it is STILL very much my private information. Yesterday, however, I got an e-mail that puzzled me: The Republican Party of Arkansas recently sent out an en-masse recruitment e-mail to University students, the trouble is that many of us have absolutely no idea how they got that information. They are not directly affiliated with the University, so by all accounts they SHOULDN'T have been able to access our e-mail. But for some reason, they DID, and many members of the local secular student RSO Occam's Razors seem to think that they may have obtained this information illegally. 

At the heart of it all, as far as the contents of the e-mail are concerned, it's not the pretentious & insincere "God Bless" that irks me about this: I'm greatly more concerned about how these people got my fucking e-mail address to begin with than what nonsense they actually sent me. Then I saw THIS PART...

The problem with sending out spam e-mail to an entire academic institution while including propaganda that marginalizes an entire group of people who disagree with you, is that you are probably going to hear back from the people that you marginalized about exactly WHY they disagree with you, and you have no reason to complain if a few of them sound rightly pissed off. If you have to resort to (possibly) breaking the law to send out recruitment spam for your cause, maybe you should at least consider NOT including nonsense that targets a specific demographic of people: ATHEISTS.

At least they were kind/foolish enough to include their organization's contact information in the thoughtless and completely unsolicited e-mail. I'm going to interpret that as "Hey, I know you didn't ask for us to send you this message that makes our position about how little regard we have for the rights of those of you that DON'T have an imaginary friend, so feel free to message us any-ol-time about absolutely anything!" THAT is either a gross oversight on their part, in which case SOMEONE needs to investigate the goings-on within their office lest they wind up in some serious shit in the future, or the Republican Party of Arkansas might (mind you, I said MIGHT) be completely okay with breaking the law for the sake of getting attention.

If that is genuinely the case, then I find it absolutely pathetic: It's one thing to disagree with people on things, it's quite another to violate rules & regulations for the sole sake of making your point. 

If YOU are a student who received this e-mail and DIDN'T want it, it might be a good idea to contact the University's Tech center and file a complaint. Complaints can also be taken up through the Federal Trade Commission: spam@uce.gov

Some have mentioned that if this were coming from the Democratic party, then this would never have become an issue. There are two problems that I have with that statement: First off, it assumes, without evidence, that someone from the Democratic Party INTENDS to do so (and since many of our members are ALREADY registered Democrats, it would be utterly silly of them to do so.) And second, even if, in the off chance, the en-masse harvesting of private information DOES turn out to be legal, it's still incredibly ignorant to send a message that endorses a message of "fuck these people, join us" and NOT expect them to respond.

And if you have to resort to (possibly) breaking the law to do your job, that is a plain and clear indicator that YOU SUCK AT IT.

14-Oct-2014 Update: After talking to a couple of outside sources, as well as hearing from someone at the University just today, apparently our University e-mail addresses are part of a public directory. So, strictly speaking, while what the Arkansas Republicans did turns out to be perfectly legal, it's still rather lame: For the same reason I don't like door-to-door missionaries or salesmen bothering me at home, I see enough political propaganda on my Facebook & Twitter feeds every day. I use my University e-mail for UNIVERSITY RELATED BUSINESS, that's the only thing I ever intend to use it for. It's not like anyone living in the entire State of Arkansas has never ever heard of the Republican (or Democratic) Party, there was no practical reason whatsoever for that to have been sent out in the first place.

To put it bluntly, if I WANT TO hear from a local or national political organization, I will attempt to make contact directly MYSELF. No one likes unsolicited spam, this shouldn't exactly be a difficult concept to grasp in the age of the Internet.

Critique: The UofAR "Teaching Religion"

I had the pleasure of attending a recent discussion event at the University of Arkansas here in Fayetteville. And yes, I say "pleasure" even though the event had it's pitfalls, it still had a measure of intrigue and remained surprisingly calm for an age of seemingly ever-rising tensions between different religious communities. I admit, I went to this event with some half-baked expectations and anticipation of some kind of a debate or a panel, I was hoping that this was going to be a bit more in-depth than the rather vaguely written event flyers had advertised. 

Still unsure about what exactly was supposed to go on at this thing, I made an attempt to acquire a bit more information. About a week before this event was held, I took a moment to approach Dr. Lucas Delezene (Biological Anthropologist and guest speaker, I'm in his Introduction to Anthropology class) to try to get a bit more information from him about this. Despite his enthusiasm for public discussion about science, at the time he didn't have much more information about the even than I did: It would seem that the event organizers wanted someone well qualified to discuss "teaching the controversy" (this will come up later, keep reading) and so they dropped this right into his lap. Even in lieu of having little more than the other participants' names for information, though, he seemed genuinely excited and optimistic about whatever the outcome would have been from this, and with a smile he recommended that I attend: Which I did, and the following is just a rudimentary break-down of everything that happened during the "talk."

Unfortunately, I was unable to catch the name of the first speaker: She did mention that her area of expertise was the history of Christianity during the early Middle Ages. 

During her portion of the talk, she showed the audience a brief power-point presentation about the history of Jesus as a historical figure: To include images taken from several different mosaics of everything from an asexual youth being baptised all the way to your typical bearded white guy images, just to demonstrate the fluidity of not only the image, but the "message." And even to my surprise, she threw in an image of an ancient Viking version of Jesus being crucified... to a tree. Not just any tree, the World Tree of old Norse legend. Kinda made me think and reflect on how people who peddle notions of "Absolute Truth" really have no idea what they are talking about, literally AND figuratively. Modern Christians would have had the historical Jesus arrested for vagrancy if they had seen him today, and that is assuming that a flesh-and-blood Jesus ever existed (which, to my dismay, I don't recall them discussing.) So yes, to a point religion DOES have a place in academia as objective subject matter and not as indoctrination: It's important that we understand that these myths are an important reminder of where we came from as a civilization, but also that there's a clear and present danger in looking fondly on "the good old days" as many modern fundamentalists seem so very eager to do. Apparently, last time they had an event like this one, one entire portion of the room was solidly "occupied" by a local Christian fundamentalist sect.

The second speaker at the event was Dr. Timothy Landry, a cultural anthropologist who had spent a great deal of time in West Africa & the Caribbean studying Voodoo. 

Before I begin this part, I'd like to point something out that annoyed me greatly about the entire event: All but two of the of the speakers seemed to have no concept or consideration for time whatsoever. So about five minutes after the first speaker's ten minutes were long done, Dr. Landry was finally able to proceed with his presentation. Straight of the bat, our eyes were bombarded with stock images of commonly known Voodoo practices such as dolls and animal sacrifice. And I say bombarded because these pictures were flashing and repeating at quite a rapid pace: Doll, blood, candles, bone, the word SATAN, a black woman wearing a headdress, a chicken, something on fire, the word EVIL, etc... you get the idea (It was actually pretty fucking metal.) Why did he do this? To prove a point about stereotypes. He continued about the "truths" in stereotyping people and cultures to be incomplete, an easy point to prove with such a stereotyped practice as Voodoo. Admit it, as soon as you saw the word Voodoo in this post, you chuckled at the thought of dolls and dead chickens. He proceeded to ask the general questions about what we, in the West, typically think about when we talk about anything pertaining to religion. What IS religion to us, really? I typically think of modern myth and folklore surrounding figures like Jesus, Mohammed and Tom Cruise, and laugh my ass off at how improbable and silly their ideas are.

But Dr. Landry didn't discuss "religion" in those familiar terms: As far as practitioners are concerned, Voodoo isn't a religion. If you trace the practice back far enough in history, the word "Voodoo" in of itself simply means "Spirit" guiding you along a path or providing instruction. There are no literal "God" figures in Voodoo, only other spirits and their own unique demands and practices. They don't exclude figures like Jesus or Buddha, they include them as more "spirits" that impart mortals with guidance and wisdom. Yes, they practice animal sacrifice in many of their rites, but I had no idea that the meat was to be shared among the participating community afterward (something that the Bible forbids, by the way {Acts 15:29}) But they don't get their rocks off spilling the blood of animals, not like some of us might tend to think of it, because they consider it an act of honor and love to do so: The guiding spirits, or Loa, get what they want and the community gets a sanctified meal afterward. Now I know what you're probably thinking right about now, "Eew! What a bunch of savages!" I'm sure they probably have some very interesting things to say about eating communion crackers or rolling around on the floor mumbling gibberish, A.K.A., "Speaking in Tongues."

And while religion, ANY religion, is not grounded in fact, it is really easy to caricaturize ideas that we don't understand and then use them to demonize an entire group of people: When I DO criticize Islam, I try to be really damn careful to distinguish between the ideas and beliefs from the people that hold honestly believe them. I enjoyed Dr. Landry's eye-opening talk very much, but as far as I'm concerned my usual policy of criticizing religious belief stands: People have rights, ideas do not. Therefore, no idea is above reproach or mockery, especially when it come to the evils and ignorance of their followers. THIS brings me to the next presenter... 

Dr. Lucas Delezene has been teaching the same Anthropology course (to include the one I'm currently taking) at the University of Arkansas for the last four years. 

Now I did mention earlier that "teaching the controversy" is going to pop up again in this blog post, I'll get to that shortly. Dr. Delezene's work in Anthropology has been very hands-on for most of his career, he's gone out on expeditions and digs in the American Southwest looking for ancient human remains: He's repeatedly noted that Arizona is one of his favorite places to work, especially the Grand Canyon area. His job, in terms of this "talk," is actually pretty simple: In terms of teaching the controversy is concerned, there really isn't one. If there's one lesson that EVERYONE can take out of the Nye vs Ham debate, it's that the matter of physical reality is not something that is this hotly "debated" controversial subject, like religious fundamentalists would have you think. What's real is real, and as scientists like Richard Dawkins have repeatedly pointed out, the scientific process helps us to discover and describe observable phenomena, something religion has failed to do with any measure of accuracy. Dr. Delezene briefly described a concept that I was only loosely familiar with, something called "Non-Overlapping Magisteria." That is, loosely, that science and religion are not necessarily in conflict because they are basically two very different things: Science deals in facts, whereas faith deals in values. Values are subjective and fluid, religious or otherwise: Facts are facts and that's that, pieces of one fantastic puzzle being assembled that we are coming to understand as REALITY.

The process of cognitive dissonance can be difficult, sometimes even painful, for students coming to the University from religious backgrounds and families. Having one's deeply held ideals and beliefs challenged is rarely a pleasant experience, and can be downright frightening for young people who aren't yet used to it. Out of about 2000 or so students that he's taught over the years, he said that only a handful of them were ever hostile toward him in this regard (He also noted that at least one of them later apologized to him over it.) Science and evolution are not magic, science doesn't aim to "prove" or "disprove" anything like theists seem to think, it is the method by which we test, observe and discover things about our world, our origins (hey, like evolution and anthropology!) and our universe. I don't recall if Dr. Delezene himself openly identifies as an atheist or a skeptic, I'd have asked him myself but it didn't seem appropriate at the time to do so. Regardless, he intricately and beautifully summarized religious "conflict" in regard to his own scientific and academic profession much better than I'm doing on my humble little blog.

There were quite a few people that got up and left not long after Dr. Delezene's presentation, I'm not entirely sure as to why this happened. I'm guessing, emphasis on GUESSING, that there were people in the audience who just wanted to see if he would just "blast creationist idiots" during his talk or not, to whatever end. Either way, the room suddenly felt much "larger" than it was when this whole thing began, and then the next presenter took the stage. 

Dr. Sidney Burris is one of, if not THE, senior chairmen of the Honors Program at the University of Arkansas, and he's aparrently spent a great deal of time studying Tibetan Buddhism in Northern India.

He's met the Dalai Lama at least once, and he talked a great deal about him. In fact, that's pretty much all he talked about for well over half of his presentation: The Dalai Lama and some of the stuff that he did. He mentioned Thich Nhat Hahn's writings a few times during the duration of his speech, but that's about the long-and-short of it. And this is right about where I started to get really annoyed with the entirety of this event, when Dr. Burris seemed to deviate so drastically from the commonly followed (and STILL aimless) format of this event: How does religious practice directly affect your ability to teach your respective area of expertise? Because a great deal of his presentation was talking about other people's work, mostly that of the Dalai Lama. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot about Buddhism as a system of ideas, AND a lot about the Dalai Lama as a person, but I can't shake the notion that I could have just as easily learned all of this from YouTube: To include all of the popular Dalai Lama quotes that I can pull off of my Facebook and Twitter feeds at any given moment.

For real, that's all he did the entire time was talk about the Dalai Lama, and then proceeded to do so even after he had gone over his allotted time: Which, in retrospect, I probably could have forgiven if he had a point to make.

Understand that I intend no disrespect to Dr. Burris himself in my critique here, but damn dude: YOU are on the Honors Committee...?

Last but not least, Professor Jennifer Hoyer, who is an expert on Jewish culture and literature.

I'd like to say first, that I don't understand much about Judaism or Jewish culture: I was never formally brought up as a Jew, even though I am one according to my ancestry. This was part of Professor Hoyer's problem as well, teaching a subject matter so drastically unfamiliar to so many people. It saddens me to say that even I was a bit confused by her presentation, but that's not the least bit her fault: I am just as unfamiliar with Jewish terminology and practice as many of her incoming students are. What a unique predicament that must be, to not only be an expert in a subject matter that so many people don't understand because they've never been exposed to it, but having the task of trying to explain it to a room full of people. Well, there's ME sitting in the audience feeling the steaming breath of my own ignorance breathing down my neck, but I'm okay with admitting that publicly. There's A LOT that I don't know and don't understand, after this it would just seem that Jewish culture and literature are among those things. 

And that's kinda the point, really: It's hard to teach about a culture and it's literary accomplishments without establishing a proper context. Now I don't mean using "context" to justify carrying out atrocities, in this particular case I'm talking about written works like poetry, novels and stories. Public perceptions of Judaism often seem so "narrow," according to Professor Hoyer, that people often forget the thousands of years of discussion and dialogue around it and within it. According to Jewish tradition, each time the scriptures are read, they change in value and meaning according to the person reading it. In the sense that two people can look at the same peice of art and get two very different ideas from it, sure. Naturally, that doesn't make anything that any holy-book actally says the least bit true: But in terms of poetry, literature and art, that's hardly the point. Those things are all about culture and interpretation, they thrive on differing opinions. Maybe that's why I love religiously themed artwork even though I despise their doctrines. No one, to MY knowledge, ever suicide-bombed a crowded public market after visiting the Sistine Chapel.

IF the University ever holds an event like this in the future, despite this particular one not being terribly exciting overall, I'd still go.

Not only am I optimistic that maybe they can all agree on a common format or theme for which to discuss, but that there could perhaps be a little bit more engagement between the speakers themselves as well. True, the event was never advertised as a debate or discussion panel, but perhaps the error was mine in ASSUMING that it would be: I let myself down, in that respect. 

The entire event was polished off by a reception at the Inn at Carnall Hall here on campus: There was tasty cheese, awkward silences and a dude sitting two seats away from me that wouldn't shut up about the Columbine Massacre (and I still have no idea how he got on that topic.) 

I had my cheese, revised my notes from each presentation, and now here I am posting this entry several days too late as usual.

7-Oct-2014 Correction: It's been brought to my attention that one primary reason why many people left the talk after Dr. Delezene's presentation had nothing to do with anticipation or ideology, but due to time constraints and prior commitments: Largely brought on by the fact that the first speaker went WAY OVER her time, which presented some measure of inconvenience for others. At least for some, my "guess" turned out to be inaccurate. My apologies.

RANT: Old & Awkward

I'm the 2nd oldest student in my Anthropology class, I AM the oldest student in all of my other classes. I know that logically, this shouldn't bother me. My age has no real bearing on my overall academic ability (my to-date straight-A record can easily attest to this) but I find it is affecting me in other ways that I just didn't think I'd have been able to anticipate. I can dye-over the grey hairs on my head, I have lost SOME weight since I've been riding my bicycle to class as often as I can, and as far as I can tell a t-shirt and jeans seems a pretty big step-up from the yoga-pants and draping tank-tops I see my younger classmates wearing: When I was their age, that's typically what I would sleep in. And yes, many of them will occasionally leave their dorms wearing pajama bottoms. I know I'm not exactly the most conventionally attractrive woman on campus, or anywhere, but keeping up appearances compared to my peers is neither the point nor the problem, here.

The point AND the problem is that I have absolutely nothing in common with 99% of the people around me on a day to day basis, and it's actually a frighteningly lonely & alienating feeling.

This isn't like the military, which is a good thing because I'm not lawfully compelled nor obligated to attend school and there are no life-altering repercussions against packing up and leaving. Unlike college, the Army gave me opportunities to participate in common activities and tasks with those on my level, for good or ill. Here, people sit in a room for an hour & a half, then get up and leave. Sure, most of my classmates have been generally pleasant and polite, but with the exception of the local secular students' group Occam's Razors, I can't rightly say that I have terribly many friends. Well, to be honest, any at all. 

I'm used to being on my own, but that doesn't mean that I like it. I feel like I'm surrounded by 18-19 year olds who've just left their parents' houses for the first time in their lives, and here's lil' ol' me having been to 6 different countries across 3 continents, half of which were trips I made BEFORE joining the Army in 2009. The other really weird thing about being an older student is this unshakable feeling that I "should already know" most of the subjects that we're going over in many of my classes: English, a subject I've always done exceptionally well with, threw me for the biggest loop because I honestly thought that I knew EVERYTHING that ANYONE ever needed to know about our most commonly spoken language (in the U.S., at least.) Nope, boy was I wrong, but that's okay because despite pretty much having to re-learn something I've devoted a lot of time and energy to perfecting, I still got the highest grade in my entire class. This semester, the tricky subjects are Algebra and Political Science: I never did all that well with math to begin with, it's easily my absolute least favorite subject. But History and Politics, man... again, if you think you have all the answers, you probably don't know a damn thing at all. 

Only two of my professors, so far, have been older than I am: One of whom by less than two months.

I never wanted to be one of these bitchy "older" women who constantly fret about how others perceive their age, but now I think I'm starting to understand why some of them do: Our culture emphasises youth with good times and potential opportunities. I get it, I should probably stop looking for clothes in the Juniors section of the store, but I'm not ready for beige undershirts from Talbots just yet, dammit! I think this is what the slow onset of a mid-life crisis must feel like, minus the breast implants or Corvette (Really, when you think about it, that's mostly the only reason why anyone would ever buy a Corvette.) I think part of the problem is that I may be just now realizing that I didn't get to spend anywhere near enough time during my teenage years telling as many people as possible to kindly fuck right off, and I'm surrounded by young women and men who are, in those respects, right about the apogee of those years where people can get away with that kind of behavior & still be classified as an otherwise functioning adult. 

I miss staying up until 2AM listening to Antichrist Superstar, smoking the weed that I bought with my hoarded lunch-money & painting my nails completely black because I couldn't find anything DARKER.

Funny how it takes losing your youth to really appreciate it: Not just because every album Mr Manson has put out since Mechanical Animals was sloppy and damn near painful to listen to, but because I can no longer get away with the same crazy shit. And THAT, embarassing as it is to admit, makes me a little sad. But y'know what? What I'm NOT going to do is live in the past. Sure, it's hard to look as metal as I used to with grey hair peeking out from under a cheap dye-job and spiked leather attire isn't exactly practical in the humid Southern States, but that doesn't mean that I have to be miserable as I age and let everyone see it. 

I'm trying to remain optimistic, I can continue to do well in school despite never truly fitting in among my peers. It's just a kick in the lady-balls expending all of this effort and for some reason not really being able to enjoy it like everyone else around me. I'm just not that into getting so drunk that my internal organs dissolve, and old people trying to prove that they've "still got it" are just pathetic.

In the end, I can only ever be myself.

RANT: Abortion Bullshit

Some days I don't know why I bother keeping my Tumblr account active, the art blogs seem to be the only thing keeping me there. What does that have to do with the subject of abortion? I'm glad you didn't ask (really, you'll find out why soon.) The fall semester has barely started here at the University of Arkansas, and within 48 hours of it officially kicking off, there were ALREADY a group of people from a pro-life organization handing out these little cards to students: 

Arguably, not THE most horrifying thing I've ever seen, but it still irked me. 

YOU didn't ask to read this blog post, and you don't have to. Seriously, if you can't handle this kind of conversation (for whatever the reason) it would probably be a good idea to close this tab RIGHT NOW and go on with your day. I didn't ask to be stopped on the way to the library by this peice of propaganda nor the people distributing it: They seemed to be packing up & leaving just as I got my hands on this. Universities and Colleges are, by their very definition, a place for learning and career preparation. I'm a die-hard vegetarian and I would be just as pissed off about PeTA doing this exact same thing: True, they have every right to share their opinions with people, but I ALSO have every right to object AND to voice my objections. 

And I DID...

...In my own, not-so-subtle way (fun fact: Once the item being distributed PHYSICALLY LEAVES the original distributor's hands, I have EVERY RIGHT to do whatever I wish with it, if I so choose.) 

Was this a very mature & civil thing of me to do? In hindsight, probably not. I admit, I ripped up the card out of vindication and anger: I am not obligated to "respect" any ideology that doesn't consider me a full-blooded human being because of my reproductive organs, wether it's a religion or political party. They have every right to speak their opinions and distribute their propaganda to the public, and I have every right to LITERALLY tear their opinions to shreds. As long as there's no physical violence involved, it's perfectly legal.

As soon as I posted these images to Twitter and Google+, I started getting some mixed feedback: Just over half of my friends and regular contacts seemed to voice their support, for which I'm grateful. A few thought that ripping it up probably wasn't very nice, and while they're welcome to voice their opinions, I really don't care for the most part. When I put it up on Tumblr however, BOOM! I've never seen one of my posts take off that quickly by so many people!

An overwhelming majority of them (at the time of this writing) claiming to be pro-life MEN. 

Now, I'm not one of those feminists that thinks men shouldn't have a say in the abortion debate because they can't get pregnant: If anything, I think that comedian Dick Coughlan's story clearly demonstrates the need for (civil and constructive) participation by men and women alike. I just can't stand people who are in no tangible position to benefit (nor detriment) from someone else's choices trying to tell them WHAT CHOICES TO MAKE. And I guess the thing that really made me angry about this particular card is the "human beating heart" line. Even if the "heart" CAN beat, so fucking what? Who are YOU to try and guilt ME into making  a choice that you approve of? Especially when "keeping it" has the possibility of destroying, or even ENDING, my very life? 

So yes, I AM going to destroy every single one of these things that I come across for the rest of the semester. Immature? Maybe, but I have every right to be bothered by this. What's in it for ME? Personally, if I can make free and reasonable counter-measures against bringing someone else unnecessary guilt and shame, I'll do it gladly. Think I'm a feminazi bitch? Think what you like, it's not like you can STOP ME. 

I also have every right, IF (emphasis on IF) I so choose, to destroy a Bible or a Koran if I don't like something written in it. The same goes with any book, any symbol or any object that is MY sole posession and property.

I tore up a stupid little card because I felt like it, big fucking deal. 

It's the same as a Chick tract or an unwanted coupon for carpet-cleaning service.

A peice of paper is NOT fucking sacred.

26-August-2014 UPDATE: The Tumblr post in question already has nearly 300 notes on it, it's only been up for a few hours. It looks like people are actually FIGHTING over it... um, not at all my original intent, but I'm kinda glad I at least got a few "conversations" going.

#FairFayetteville

I realize that this post is a bit late, today is quite literally my last chance to write it. Fall semester starts tomorrow morning, I'm probably not going to have ANY free time whatsoever until December (possibly, maybe) so I may as well get it out of my head while it's still somewhat fresh. As many of you may have heard recently, the Duggars are in some potential legal doo-doo, due to (see what I did there...) a series of robo-calls that were made to residents of Fayetteville Arkansas and the surrounding communities concerning a proposed anti-discrimination ordinance. The ordinance, which officially goes into effect in less than 30 days, would protect people living/working/shopping/studying within town boundaires from employment/housing/service/medical/etc discrimination based on race/sex/sexual orientation/national origin/disability/gender/gender identity (yes, there IS a difference between sex and gender.) The religious right-wingers in the Washington County area had their collective knickers in a twist because this VERY GENERAL ordinance includes protective measures for LGBT folks:

They're perfectly fine with screwing over black people and the handicapped, as long as they don't have to acknowledge 'them queers' as human beings. Fucking typical, man...

Ordinance 119 was, as far as I can tell, proposed earlier this year in the Fayettevile City Council. For some as-of-yet unknown reason, the local chapters of the Southern Baptist Convention decided that they didn't know what was going on (in the age of fucking Face-Book? Unlikely...) and that they were purposely being left out. Even if that were true in the least, they did a massive call-around to their conservative base and started bussing people into the Town Hall, many of whom wearing (you're gonna love this) PURPLE SHIRTS. I just love the irony of a bunch of homophobes gathering in the same place wearing one of the traditionally "gayest" colors that there is. 

The meeting itself was utterly MASSIVE (I'm in the front row of picture #10, wearing a black hat) and at present the longest running City Council meeting in Fayetteville's entire history: 10+ hours! That was just over ten hours of people getting up behind a single podium, one by one, talking about wether or not they were for or against the ordinance in question or their proposed amendments. They let anyone who wanted to talk do so, and I DO MEAN ANYONE: Even the handful of Bible-bumping nutters that threatened Mayor Jordan and the members of Council with "God's judgement." I wish I were joking, but a few of the purple-shirts ACTUALLY did this! They got up in front of a room full of complete strangers, started going off about some Bible-babble and then whipped out the fire-and-brimstone bullshit. I love the Democratic process, don't get me wrong, but fucking-hell man... Some people just shouldn't talk, like, AT ALL.

To include THIS guy, whom prior to the meeting went around the lobby of the town hall and started calling people "pervert," "homo," "sinner," he even (according to witnesses) approached a lesbian couple and started rattling off some particularly hateful bullshit to THEM AND THEIR SON. He was over-heard saying that LGBT folks don't have any rights under the Constitution, and I had to stop him as soon as the words "most Veterans would agree" dribbled out of his disgusting mouth: I showed him my dog-tags and told him I wasn't about to be dragged into his nonsense, he proceeded to threaten me with hellfire & brimstone, then called me a "traitor against America" and an "enemy of the State." Coming from YOU, you flag-fapping bastard, I take that as a compliment. I never got his name, but I'm pretty sure I heard him identify himself as a member of some Baptist church here in Fayetteville, also working for Veteran's Memorial... something, I didn't catch the last bit.

 Those of us in red shirts, people who are FOR the ordinance, not only greatly outnumbered the opposition, but I honestly think we had a lot more qualified experts in their respective fields on our side, too: Not just members of clergy (Two from the local Episcopal church and one Unitarian Universalist) but also a couple of licensed psychologists, the main administrator of the local Rape Crisis Center, the Omni Center, the North West Arkansas Center for Equality, and literally HUNDREDS OF RED-SHIRTS showed up to show their support for the ordinance. Though I should point out, unfortunately, that despite the record attendance not everyone was given the opportunity to speak at the meeting. There were just too many people there. 

See, folks? The South isn't COMPLETELY backward. I love Fayetteville ^_^

Even I got up and spoke briefly, but I think I stuttered a lot (it's so easy to rehearse everything you want to say in your own head, then when it's YOUR TURN at the podium you freeze up like a sheep in Scotland.) Basically, the only NON-religious argument that the opposition was trying to use revolved around putting the ordinance up for a public vote in November. That was it, everything else was regurgitated nonsense their Pastors probably told them to say or what I can only aptly describe as grossly exaggerated "child-rape fantasies" about what will happen if transgender people are allowed to use public restrooms. Oi-fucking-vey, THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT?!?!? I had to say something about it, especially since they were still conjuring images of "State-licensed-child-rape-by-trannies" well AFTER the Rape Crisis Center administrator laid out the hard facts (with sources cited) about sexual assault and who likely perpetrators ACTUALLY tend to be (oh hey, what'd'y'know, many of them are CLERGY!!!) Nope, child-rape. And Jesus. That was pretty much all they went on about for 10+ HOURS!

The Council eventually voted to pass the ordinance 6-2, the meeting ended at 3:30-ish in the morning: Mayor Jordan was especially moved by the overwhelming testimony of residents of Fayetteville. 

There are FCC complaints being filed against the Duggars for the robo-calls, which are illegal in Fayetteville without the necessary permits. But with THIS now coming to the surface, that will be the least of their worries. I personally will be drafting a letter to The Learning Channel voicing my concern and outrage that they endorse this kind of bigoted bullshit, yeah they'll probably ignore me but I feel like I have to do SOMETHING. The right wingers have already started their jowell-waggling "this isn't over" tyrade, but then again, when AREN'T they upset about something? 

I'll do my best to keep posted as often as my curent class schedule will permit me to: I don't want to make any promises that I might not be able to keep.

Just let me know when Round Two begins, I'm SO THERE! 

Well Fuck You, Too.

Yesterday, 45 Senators voted to filibuster the Military Justice Improvement Act. Senator John Boozeman of Arkansas was among them, which comes as a colossal disappointment considering that he e-mailed me PERSONALLY going on about how "committed" he was to "solving this very serious issue."

Okay, Mr Senator, I guess elected officials who (are supposed to) work off of tax-payer money just do whatever the fuck they want, then? Many of you rally up and absolutely worship Servive-Members & Veterans, yet once the polls close and you manage to get re-elected you lot step all over us like we're mere insects.

Don't worry, Mr Boozeman, your party's arrogance will continue to do itself in over then next decade or so and hopefully you'll never again have to suffer the pressures of actually making good on your own words. 

Signed,

JENIFER L CHADBOURNE (A Veteran you {oh you WISH!} bent over a desk yesterday)