Get Help, A.S.A.P.

What you're about to see is probably going to make your jaw drop from disgust, but I think you should see it nonetheless. These are screen-caps of some kind of mental/emotional breakdown from some dude that I deployed with in Iraq. Before this jerk used to come to my room late at night and hit on me CONSTANTLY (to include following me to my room a couple of times, then begging me not to tell his wife about his behavior) it's almost hard to believe that we were at one point, friends. That was a different time and he was a VERY different person.

NOW look at him... 

Gee, who's fault do you think THAT is...?

After having read these for yourself, you may find it curious to know that this bigoted insanity came from the mind of a black man (hash-tag "self-loathing")

Folks, as much as I shit-talk organized religion for it's en-masse absurdity and brazen endorsement for such hateful fucking behavior, at least I can honestly say that I've never stooped to the level of wishing death upon a group of people that I don't like. And I DEFINITELY don't have the arrogance to blame other people when I get called out for my occasional bad behavior (it has happened before, I'm an adult and I'm not ashamed to admit it.) No, I'm not sorry for posting this all over the Internet: It NEEDS to be seen, addressed and taken care of. 

Barring my inherent inability to forgive people who remain unapologetic for any wrongdoing they've done upon me, Jamie is also, obviously, very sick and needs help. 

Soldiers, there's a lesson to be learned from this: Never ever EVER piss off your P.A.O. 

24-JULY-2014 UPDATE: Nice try, Jamie, but that passive-aggressive bull-shit doesn't work on me. Thank you for proving me right about your psychosis, though. Don't ever try to contact me again.

Military "Ownership" of Women

So THIS happened today...

Naturally, I HAD to respond...

Sexism within our military (and our society as a whole) will never dissipate if we don't start confronting it and calling it out.

MAAF Meeting(s)

There is a small group of Soldiers trying to get a MAAF chapter established on Fort Huachuca. The chaplains are fighting them tooth and nail, the post command group wants nothing the fuck to do with them and even other non-theists on posts are reluctant to sign up. I am one of those Soldiers, I'm the lowest ranking of all of them but I feel like I have to do this or I'll never live it down. Even if it crashes and burns, I have to at least try.

MAAF stands for Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, so far as I have been able to gather their main goal is social support and recognition for military personnel who don't drink kool-aid. The American military is already VERY heavily christianized, to the point that many commanders have been known to allow religious indoctrination to influence their decision-making and for some reason no-one sees a problem with this but us.

I myself have been publicly called out as a "sinner" by squad-mates and supervisors, especially while I was deployed: They didn't realize that I can throw rocks, too.

I recently took a small verbal picking for the Scarlet Letter patch that I wear under the tab of my collar: AR 670-1 is the Army Regulation specifically dictating how our uniforms are to be worn, there is a clearly outlined portion stating how items of a religious (or non-religious in my case) nature are permitted to be worn with any Army uniform: An embroidered patch fastened to the underside of the collar with a cross or even a pentagram/pentacle is a very common and popular choice among Soldiers, and it's perfectly within the rules. That having been said, so is my Red-Letter-A by those very same rules.

Too often, the term "Freedom of Religion" is used in a context that implies "Freedom of MY Religion and you can stuff yours." This mindset has no place in the Armed Forces because if you're that strongly prejudiced against squad-mates or subordinates who think so differently from you then you are clearly not capable of effective decision-making in relation to keeping everyone in your team alive if the shit hits the fan: I hate to resort to an argument from personal experience, but I know this because I've been on the receiving end of it.

My dog-tags, which are an outdated concept in terms of modern-day combat scenarios, now read "ATHEIST" after having to convince the tag-machine operator that yes, that is indeed what I want them to say.

My "job" is hard enough as it is, I'd just like to spend the rest of my time here not taking shit about something so arbitrary in terms of my ability to show up for Formation sober and not cause trouble. Everyone wants to "Support Our Troops" until it actually comes time to really do so, then some of us are left out on our asses with little or no support network. Good job, America!

There was once a catholic Soldier in my unit who tried to convince me that my effectiveness as a Soldier would always be hindered because I lacked god's divine inspiration, he proceeded to rattle off a list of books he thought I should read to engage my curiosity for the catholic faith (which died in me when I was still a child being raised in that particular belief system.) Two days later he tried to kill himself: He's still alive but no longer in the Army.

I guess god's divine inspiration STILL isn't enough to fix the Army's biggest problem.

Can Has Photo-Copy?

1 year and 5 doctors later, I am still not "fixed." Yesterday I had met with a doctor a the University of Arizona Medical Center about the problems I've been having since February of 2012: I'm still in pain, it still hurts to move my upper-body, and no one I've been able to talk to has offered any treatment that has had any notable effect. The doctor at the U of AZ said he didn't know what was causing my pain, but he insisted that he didn't think herniated disks were the cause of my symptoms.

After referring my case to another doctor on campus, a neurosurgeon who apparently specializes in pain, I was on my way out of the office and about to check out at the reception desk. All I wanted was one photo-copy of my intake form so I could have it for my own personal records, I will need to make a VA claim regarding my injury in the near future.

The staff proceeded to argue with me about why they didn't want to make my kindly requested copy, that it wasn't necessary for me to have it because they were giving me another referral form (which turned out to be a barely legible pink slip of paper with notes scribbled onto it) and tried to hurry me out the door despite my protests.

One employee proceeded to try and take my only copy of an MRI from me for keeps. Um, how 'bout NO!

With the VA as cluster-fucked as it is, even if that copy wasn't absolutely necessary for the process, I still want to keep MY OWN RECORDS regarding my injury. But I guess a 30-second copy-job for an injured Iraq Veteran is asking too goddamn much, silly me for being an undue burden to my country's medical system.

I guess I should have taken my undeserving broken-ass somewhere I belong like, gee I don't know... CONGRESS!

Happiness Is...

I bought a gun today. While my husband and I both own several firearms of varying types, this is the first one that I myself had purchased from a licensed store (Arizona is a Community Property State.) I had been looking for a revolver for some time now, a small and inconspicuous but reliable handgun for open-and-concealed carry. This is a military town, almost half it's residents are either current or retired members of the Armed Forces: VERY Republican, and it shows. I can't take a crap at any public toilet without wanting to wipe myself with any number of anti-government propaganda papers that some 'considerate' stranger had left behind.

The Tea Party practically runs this town. 

I've been to this shop many times to pick up ammo for our other guns, John and I go target-shooting on a somewhat regular basis: There's an outdoor range on the outskirts of town that gives a pretty sweet discount for Veterans and Soldiers. Today was the day I finally added that desired piece to our collection: A Smith & Wesson 442 "Air-weight" revolver, a 5-shooter that takes .38 Ammunition but is rated safe for .38+P rounds.

I don't expect you to know what any of that means.

All I had to do was fill out a piece of paper, wait for the manager to make a phone call to the FBI for a 5-minute background check (which I passed) and $500 later I took it home, along with two boxes of .38 rounds for practice at the range tomorrow. Until then they are safely stored and locked in separate containers, the gun itself in a small resin-plastic box and the ammunition on the top shelf inside our metal gun-safe. All in all, the process was painless, granted that Arizona has some of the most lenient firearm laws in the entire United States.

But I did notice something odd when I was filling out the form and it makes me wonder. There's a section of several "yes or no" questions, among them were questions regarding one's mental health status. I don't know what would happen to someone who has ever been committed or diagnosed with a mental illness, depending on what it was and how severe, but from my perspective it looked like all you'd have to do is put the "right" answer down on the paper.

I'm just wondering, if you turn out to be a nutter does anyone actually document it? If James Holmes actually did go see a shrink not long before legally buying a gun and shooting up a theater full of people, did that psychiatrist actually fill out THEIR OWN PAPERS on Holmes and if they did what happened to them? I can't help but wonder if the weaknesses of our mental health structure are a giant tear in the moth-eaten fabric of society for dangerous people to lie their way through and wreak havoc. Unless I'm wrong, it looks literally TOO EASY for a mentally unstable person to legally purchase a gun (so long as s/he hasn't committed a felony... yet.)

I'm not a rifle-waving gun-nut by any mean or measure, I just enjoy going to the range and practicing. In fact, I'm a card-carrying Democrat.

People have been dying at the hands of psychopaths since the dawn of humanity, sadly I don't see that changing any time soon. A lot of people are, understandably, upset over the poor handling and lack of prevention of public incidents involving guns. I would agree that the system is failing people and the innocent lives that pay for that are far too many. I don't think it's a question of HOW, but CAN we keep weapons out of the hands of dangerous people without diminishing what "Shall not be infringed?" 

I don't blame the guns nor the bullets, It'd be arrogant of me to do so. I can't blame the merchants or manufacturers either, shit I can't even blame Hollywood. How is it their fault that people who are already on the brink one day decide to do what they pretty much have for centuries? Mass killing involving guns is nothing new: The earliest known incident of a school-shooting in America dates all the way back to 1764, that's before we were even a unified nation. I don't think guns are the problem, it's humanity.

But the law is written in such a way that banning guns is actually illegal (and with good reason.) I've heard some convincing comparisons between the super-far-left Liberal side's push to bottle-neck access to personal weapons to similar means that Conservative efforts have tried to ban abortion and snuff marriage equality: Just as dumb from the other side of the fence. I know you don't want to hear this, but people kill each other every day. Most of the time they don't need a gun to do it.

Do you have any idea how easy it is to walk into Home Depot with a pile of cash and stroll on out with all the necessary ingredients for a home-made IED? And guess what? There's no background check for cut lengths of PVC pipe and boxes of nails.

Timothy McVeigh killed 168 people and wounded almost 800, he accomplished one of the most bloody acts of terrorism our nation has ever seen prior to 9-11. He did this with materials that anyone, even convicted criminals, are allowed to have and work with. What he did was inexcusable, disgusting and horrifying, and unfortunately unstoppable. It's so easy to look back at violence and say "what could I have done?" This is an understandable reaction, people are traumatized and want to make things "normal" again. Police studies show that many rape victims have been known to change their clothes, even clean their houses, before the police show up to investigate. It's the same mechanism, different circumstances.

We inherently want to go about our lives as though nothing ever happened,  but this just isn't so. Children and teachers were slaughtered like animals in Newtown and no amount of 'regulation' is going to take that pain away or bring dead family members back. I'm sorry, I really am.

The problem isn't guns killing people, it really is people killing people. People who aren't their normal selves or under a severe amount of stress, people who just snap one day and take to a University Clock-Tower. We live in a violent world where people strap bombs to their chests and others shoot up public buildings. Even if you could snap your finger and make all guns go away everywhere, a truly driven murderer will just find another way.

But does that mean we should let just ANYBODY get their hands on a gun? No, I don't think so. Clearly steps need to be taken to prevent as much damage as possible: I've heard suggestions of taking a psych-eval before applying for a conceal-carry permit, or not allowing anyone in a household to own a weapon if even one family-member has a mental illness. Far from perfect ideas, but where do we begin? And how do we enforce the law without violating the rights of sane law-abiding citizens who DO own guns? It's a very hard line to draw!

The manager of the store got off the phone from my background-check, he smiles at me while he writes something on my application for the S&W:

"Good news, according to the FBI they said you're a very nice lady." I call back at John, "Did'ja hear that, love? The FBI thinks that I don't fart!"

If they are unaware of my non-lethal flatulence, I can't help but wonder what any other less-than-honest person could write on a piece of paper and purchase.